I HAVE BEEN GIVEN ONLY THREE SPEEDING TICKETS in my thirty years of driving, a decade between each, so being handed a ticket for speeding last summer got me wondering the practice of speed traps, and about the liberty an officer has when stopping a speeding driver.
For years, friends, coworkers, close acquaintances have told me stories of getting out of speeding tickets and I began to wonder why they were successful at it, and I was not. What was wrong with me?
The truth is I found it odd that drivers caught in the act of speeding would be willing to spend time in traffic court fighting something they were evidently guilty of doing. More curious to me was the luck, or skill, of men and women I knew who had their fines decreased on the spot. What was I doing, or not doing, that elicited a maximum fine?
“Don’t do the crime, if you can’t do the time.”
For years, I debated the usefulness of our judicial system in fighting speeding tickets with drivers willing to take a day off work and roll the dice in the courtroom, hoping the officer who issued the ticket would be a no-show, or that the judge would knock down the fine, or dismiss it altogether. Personally, I believe that this court option is a waste of tax dollars; the officer, having stopped a vehicle and checked the driver’s record, may be unable to release the driver without issuing a ticket; however, an officer has, in that moment, the ability to make a judgment call.
It is in this moment of prudence that I have failed all three times. How others manage to get their fines knocked down and I do not, I do not know. There must be something unappealing about my appearance, or countenance. Is it my looks, or my personality? I wondered if it was the IAFF sticker on my windshield, or if it was my lack of apology for breaking the law. I dunno.
I do not like the passivity of speed traps. It seems lazy. Sure, this laying in wait, submissive way to catch lawbreakers is cost-effective. Though I wondered about my own inability to obtain a reduced fine, when stacked against the odds, why were so many others able to get fines lessened, or tickets cancelled? I also wondered why folks were willing to go to court to fight the charge. Were they cheap? Were their demerit points stacking up? Once there, did they throw themselves on the mercy of the court? (Had they no pride? Had I too much?)
Was I simply too plain, too ugly to get out of a ticket?
The wife of a police officer, a woman with whom I worked briefly, suggested that the best course of action is to visit a courtroom, while a Staff Sergeant I know laughingly suggested that I undo my shirt and show cleavage. Really? Either option was #disappointing. Women and men suggested that I tried what worked for them: cry, plead, apologize.
On a highway where the speed limit is 100 km/h, and I was clocked at, well, stupid, is there any excuse or explanation that would be seen reasonable? Besides, when I am nervous, I retreat. In addition, I had been raised to hold my tongue—speak only when spoke to—when faced with a person in authority. And while holding my tongue may work well in a court of law, in the principal’s office, or when your boss’s boss is reading you The Riot Act, but remaining silent on the side of a highway with a ticketing officer who is looking for contrition is going to work against you.
Was the officer looking to collect overtime pay?
At some point, having listened to the advice of other speeders, it occurred to me that the officer may have wanted me to attend court. Maybe he was just looking to beef up his overtime pay and knew from my driving record that I would pay the penalty in full. Either way, it’s a win for law enforcement.
There is one other explanation: I was speeding and he wanted to fine me the maximum amount in order that I might learn a lesson. I can honestly say that I did.
Next time, I will unzip my hoodie, sweetly apologize, and beg for mercy. #notlikely.#twoouttathree.
Nah. I’ll just #drivesafe.